What I COULD do...

The past couple of weeks of my life have been a true reflection of Murphy's Law. I promise I feel like everything that could possibly go wrong...has. I've been the busiest ever. I've had a melt-down at work, quit my job, retracted the resignation, lost a car (blown head-gasket), bummed a ride out of town for my mom's party, been studying 3 different scripts, then one of the projects I was studying the heaviest for got canceled. In the midst of everything going on, I forgot to pay my gas bill, so my gas got cut off. It's an additional deposit of $150 PLUS a reconnection fee, PLUS what I owed in the first place. ALL because I try to do well by going green and I don't receive a paper bill. And to add insult to all types of injury...I lost a man as well. He didn't die...he just may very well (or not, who knows) be reconnecting with his wife and reconstructing his family. Sucks, huh? (Please bear in mind that I would NEVER knowingly date someone who is a husband to someone else and that's all I'll say about that).

In any case, I know that this is spiritual warfare. While if something happened at my job, I usually have acting to get lost in, but as I said one production was canceled. While whenever acting is at a low-point, I usually have my friend (the man) for a great pick-me-up. Whenever he was acting nuts (or just lost in his own matters), I could at least drive to the mall for some retail therapy. When I didn't have the money for retail therapy, I could AT LEAST take a hot bath to temporarily escape. For all of this to happen at once is enough to make anyone cave. And my mind is getting tired, so it REALLY wants to give in and have a mental break-down. But as my bestie tells me, the break-down starts in the mind so if I give in, everything else will follow. I keep saying this over and over to myself and I keep praying. So I decided that this won't get the best of me. What I COULD do is sit here and complain. Mope and cry and wallow in my own pity...like I said this is actually enough to make anyone cave. But I won't. God has brought me way to far for me to get stuck here. So what I WILL do is thank God. Thank Him that I still have a home and although it may not be any hot water there right now, I can put some in the microwave. I will thank Him for allowing me to have people caring enough to pick me up and take me to work while I'm without my car. Thank Him for freeing me up to concentrate on the other 2 acting gigs that I'm a part of right now and be the best in them. Thank Him for freeing me up for whomever my king is who has the capacity to pour into me. Thank Him for my cousins who not only helped me get to my mom for her birthday but helped to put the party on...shucks thank Him for the fact that my mom just saw her 60th birthday whenever doctors had given her a death sentence. And most of all, I will thank Him in advance for what's about to happen. I don't know what it is, but I know He must seriously have something up his sleeve. I thank Him for this faith muscle that I feel is being exercised past my known capacity. And I thank you all (whomever you may be) for allowing me to vent. Until next time P.U.S.H- Pray Until Something Happens (and don't stop then)!