My Happy

Stumped. Perplexed. In a state of sheer bewilderment. How could such a simple question have an answer that eludes me so...most people should be able to answer this without thinking. The answer should actually be what one is living for. The question..."What makes you happy?" There I was, minding my own business, when the question was posed to me..."Anneka, what makes you happy?" Well...I thought...well...I started to answer the question several times before I really concluded that I had no idea! I mean I've always been a rather content person. Sure, I'm human, so I have moments of unhappiness, frustration and even anger, but for the most part, those emotions are fleeting and I grab my joy back. So I thought...acting makes me happy. It does, but that makes me happy with my occupation. A great relationship! Yes! Well, no...A man doesn't make me happy (yes, he can make me happy in a relationship generally, but no one person can lend anyone happiness if they don't innately have it on their own).  Being around family makes me happy...yes, but only for the moment. It reminds me that I have a home when I'm with my fam, but even then that doesn't make a happy life. Traveling! Ah, that HAS to be it...well, sure, traveling makes me happy too, but only for the time that I'm doing it. I come off of my high when the trip's over. I thought over everything that I enjoy doing and I realized that everything that I thought makes me happy only gives me what I desire...AT that moment...not necessarily a lasting happiness. So after a long, arduous delve inside myself, I came to the conclusion that I am happiest when all is well with the world. Meaning? I haven't had time to think about what makes me deliberately happy because I've been so consumed with making everyone else happy and my surroundings comfortable...this isn't a complaint. I get utter joy and a high out of helping people. It is then when I feel like the breaths that I take are purposeful ones. Sure, I love acting, I love a good relationship. I love being around my family and friends and I LOVE to travel, so maybe when all of these things align at the same time, I will be on Cloud 9, right?! But what are the odds of that?!

I've decided to be happy no matter what. I've been down. I've been out. I've been single, I've been broke, I've been lonely. I've been without acting gigs, and there have been times I haven't been able to travel. Somehow, I've managed to remain happy...because I've decided to. And I know that every day I'm here, I try to do some good in the world or at least in someone's life...that's what keeps me going. Moreover, that's the stuff that my happiness is made of. Being the best me that I possibly can be! So people, recognize what makes you happy. You have to KNOW it before you can obtain it...and when you are/think/behave in a certain way, you inadvertently exude and attract more of the same (per the laws of attraction). Go get your happy. I'm gonna hold on to mine!