Dear Black Suns,

I've tried to hold it in. I've tried to sit on it and act like it doesn't bother me. But the fact of the matter is that as polarizing as these feelings are, I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant and I'm due any day now to bring a boy into this world... a black boy. A boy that regardless of how he's raised and what we teach him, will be viewed by some as menacing and a threat and I am mortified...I can teach him "proper" English. I can teach him to mind his manners and to respect authority. I can teach him to dress "respectfully." I can give him everything in the world that I know will aid in him becoming an upstanding citizen...but yet and still, before he opens his mouth and reveals that he isn't a "threat," someone will see him as such because his skin will be brown.
 Some people have jumped on this Zimmerman/Martin-state case and have milked it for all the propaganda they could possibly squeeze from its' udders...which is disgusting in and of itself. For me, it was always about the value of black life in America...especially for black men. We can sit back and debate until our faces turn blue on whether this was a racially-charged case or not but the proof is in the pudding. The use of racial epithets on the phone with the dispatcher should kill that notion before it is even a question.
Other people are mad because of the uproar with this trial and no one seemed to voice any grievances over the genocide in Chicago. To me, one doesn't have anything to do with other. WE, people of color should be rallying for our suns ourselves...men need to get back in the homes, we need to stop perpetuating violence and the belittling and misogyny of women through song. All of these things are up to US. We can't ask someone from a different culture or race to come in and fix what we are doing to ourselves. Yes, it is time to start holding ourselves accountable and responsible for ALL of our suns' lives. They are watching us and more importantly, we should be watching them! With statistics like those in Chicago, what use is there for the Klan?!
Now back to what we seemingly don't have control over...I am a person of the arts. I'm all about creative expression, but do I tell my sun "No" if he comes to me and asks if he can get dreadlocks?! Do I tell him that he has to dress to "fit in" in order to not look like a misfit?! These are only a couple of the plights that I am faced with when raising a black man in this society and it pains me to no end and fills my heart with gut-wrenching anguish!
So when it comes to the "powers that be" what do we do? I can't speak for anyone else but I will only go where I feel like me and mine are welcomed and valued like anyone else. I understand that racism exists everywhere covertly but when you are just out-right overt with yours, whereas I appreciate it so I know, I can't respect it. My hard-earned dollars will not be making an appearance in Florida...or anywhere else where they have no regard for my life. And yes, whereas I understand that this may have been what some would call an "isolated incident," the state of Florida rendered the verdict that a young brown life has no value there (unless of course it's due to sports or entertainment).
I don't want to have to see my sun buried for ANY reason, but I can only pray that he will understand that he can't necessarily do the same things and live the same life as that of his caucasian counterparts and classmates without being viewed some kind of way (and that there may be repercussions). And to all of our black suns whose lives were taken because of some misconception, quickness of the draw, or just for being brown in the wrong place...RIParadise
Trayvon Martin
Oscar Grant
Amadou Diallou
Sean Bell
Aaron Campbell
James Craig Anderson
Victor Steen
James Byrd, Jr.
Steven Eugene Washington
Ramarley Graham, etc, etc, etc...
this list is endless. These are only ten who were killed within the last 15 years. This is not to mention all of the Civil Rights martyrs or those killed senselessly killed on a regular basis who don't make the news. We still value your lives, Suns. And I can only pray to God that my sun, Caidan Adaire Hickson never makes this list or any other that would require me seeing him in a casket...I vow to do my part.